Of Vice and Meaning

            On a clear night when you get away from the city lights you can see thousands of stars filling the night sky. But the effort required to get far enough from the city lights can take most of your energy and leave you too tired to enjoy the beauty of it all. Eventually the city lights over take the night sky and soon the beauty is hardly a fraction of what it is in the night and we call it good enough. This laziness in pursuing beauty then translates into other aspects of our lives and before long we as people are left with a craving for something more that we cannot seem to satisfy. This craving is met temporarily with things that distract us from the emptiness. Those things are typically called vices which are entirely selfish actions used to appease our inner craving for something more. We as human beings seek to find a greater meaning in our lives, but that quest for meaning is often lost in the torrent of distractions and cheap substitutions that are supposed to bring happiness into our lives. Like the lights of the city at night drowning out the countless stars these vices stop us from seeing the greater purpose in our lives.

            But why are vices bad? They are just a form of need satisfaction that fulfill the cravings for what they provide. When the longing for companionship arises then prostitution should be an acceptable way to meet that need or when our minds need relaxation then alcohol and drugs can satisfy that requirement like sandwich when you’re hungry. When you’re lonely you can go online and talk to any of the hundreds of people on your digital friends list with the click of a mouse. Happiness is at our finger tips and we as a society have no need for a greater meaning. The phrase “panem et circenses” means bread and circuses in Latin and it is used to describe the basic needs of humanity. All we need it food and entertainment to keep us content with life. The quest for meaning is a fool’s errand that always results in unneeded suffering with no tangible reward. Why would someone go out and away from society to gaze at stars when the lights of the city are just as numerous and bright enough to drown out the night sky? Because those lights are made by man and we as people need to be a part of something more.

            All the vice in the world cannot equate to the sustaining joy found in meaning because as time passes the transparency and falseness of vice becomes more and more apparent. For example, online someone might have two thousand friends on their friend list and even more followers of their digital identity. This individual would be considered far from being alone because of the digital community that they hold; with a single update they can reach every single one of their online friends. Yet this person is incredibly lonely and feels that no one truly cares about them. Why might this occur? It is because the vice is nothing but a hallow copy of what it is we as people truly crave. Saint Augustine states “Beautiful was the fruit, but it was not what my unhappy soul desired” The idea of thousands of followers and friends is beautiful for so many because it means we would never be alone. And yet it is only a poor substitution for the real thing we crave. The thing wanted most by the individual in the example was not thousands of friend but a longing or a deeper connection and closer relationships with others.

            Yet we continue to fool ourselves with these ideas of the easiest ways to meet our needs. We do not earn our meaning but instead take hold of vices like a thief taking what his greed commands. But this theft of vice fools into believing it is beautiful. “I seek out what was in that theft to give me delight, and lo, there was no loveliness in it. I do not say such loveliness as there is in justice and prudence, or in man’s mind, and memory…nor even that flawed and shadowy beauty found in the vices the deceive us” Augustine’s words resound the sentiment that these vices are not inherently bad but that they are not the satisfaction we need as human beings. But if we not satisfied with vice then why do pursue it in place of greater meaning?

            It is because vice is the easy path to take. Vice is a brilliant flashing light that shines so brilliantly that it all but entirely douses the stars of purpose that fill the night sky. But these vices are do not make the night sky entirely dark. Some stars can still pierce through the brilliant light and yet instead of following these guides to meaning we claim they those few stars prove that we have meaning in our vice filled lives. Samuel Johnson describes this act of self-deception “One sophism by which men persuade themselves that they have those virtues which they really want, is formed by the substitution of single acts for habits.” What he is describing is that these vices which blind us to the true meanings we seek give us just enough of a glimpse to the stars that we believe we see enough of them. We become self-deceivers with these vices until eventually they consume us entirely and we live for the vice instead of searching out our own greater purpose. We are enslaved to the pursuit of happiness and not the quest for purpose. The ultimate deception comes from the belief that these hollow vices can provide a sustaining and meaningful existence. As the Greek philosopher Plutarch describes it “Now the same condition existing in human affairs deceives most people, who think that, if they surround themselves with vast houses, and get together a mass of slaves and money, they shall live pleasantly.” This deception is goes even further as we continue to consume the vices that command our lives and we become enslaved to them. So then how does one escape the cycle of all consuming vices?

            By finding what is meaningful in our lives, those stars not drown out by the lights of vice and following them into the night. To escape our own deception we are must reject that which we have defined our lives with, the vices that control us. We as humans have a choice, to embrace the vices that will leave us starving and alone or to suffer through without until meaning is found. Victor Frankl describes this choice “Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to the powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom.” The power of vice over our lives is immense and always present. We can find a digital companionship to fight off the hunger of love for a few minutes with just a few clicks of the mouse. We can drown our sorrows with the numbing tonic of alcohol and we can even let go of reality itself with mind altering drugs and allow these things to control us. We can surround ourselves with fancy cars and giant homes to make us believe we are happy but the need to consume is ever present. And that need comes from our choice of happiness over meaning. We as humans do not wish to face the dark roads that will lead us to meaning. We do not want to face suffering but in order to find that meaning suffering must be experienced, because without it we can never appreciate it beauty of a meaningful life.

            The suffering in our own lives is what we suppress with our vices. We cannot enjoy life with the suffering and instead of bearing through it to find our true purpose we flee to the bright vices that leave our eyes hurting and our souls empty. But beyond the suffering that comes with the rejection of vice we can find true satisfaction in our lives and our souls. “Therefore, it was necessary to face up to the full amount of suffering, trying to keep moments of weakness and furtive tears to a minimum. But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for years bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.” These are the words of Frankl, that we must suffer in life to find greater purpose in our lives.  Without this suffering there is no recognition of the true joy that can be found in meaning.

            The vices that we as humanity collectively embrace come from the need of having a meaning in our lives. Without this meaning we are nothing but animals who consume everything they need to be satisfied and wait until the hunger returns so that we may consume more. It is an empty existence that will leave us starving when the vice is no longer enough. Vice is much like a drug in this way, after consuming it long enough we require more of it to be satisfied until we consume enough to kill ourselves. If happiness is satisfying needs then how do we satisfy the need of happiness? We believe it is something that can be acquired through other means, a new pair pants or an extra dessert bring us a quick fix of happiness. But soon those quick fixes become excessive in their number and a single pair of jeans becomes an entire wardrobe of clothing only worn once and of cakes thrown out because they no longer satisfy us. As things no longer bring us happiness we seek shallow companionship to trick ourselves into believing we are loved and still that will not be enough.

            When living in the cycle of vices we discover there is no meaning to life. The things that bring us joy are all made by humans and that human beings are nothing more than self-perpetuating consumers. If we draw our meaning from the fleeting things we create to be consumed then is life worth living? Albert Camus contemplates this very concept “It now becomes clear, on the contrary, that it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning… Now, no one will live this fate, knowing it to be absurd, unless he does everything to keep before him that absurd brought to light by consciousness” If we embrace the contentedness of living for consumption then we live a life that is without purpose and become empty.  Human beings need to something that is beyond themselves; a grand scheme in which they have a unique purpose. And that purpose cannot be found in the city lights of vice and self-deception.

            Instead we must abandon the shallow existence of our comforts and travel the dark roads of suffering to find a place where the stars of meaning can shine fully. Only once we are no longer blinded by vice and empty happiness can we see discover a greater meaning in our life. And when we see this meaning in its fullness we will discover a deeper and satisfying happiness that fills us from within. As Plutarch describes “…A pleasant and happy life comes not from external things, but, on the contrary, man draws on his own character as a source from which to add the element of pleasure and joy to the things which surround him” only from discovering our own meaning in life can we satisfy that deep longing that we had buried in vices. Human beings are not created to consume mindlessly, no, we are created to seek our meaning and embrace it fully so that we can live with joy, even as suffer away from the city of vices and empty vessels.